Social Anxiety at 122728 Hours, or About Fourteen Years

Talking to people is hard. Like, really hard. Especially when you’re a socially awkward fourteen-year-old kid. Much of the following is no longer who I am, but I will admit, my mouth still turns to cotton more often than I would like. I tried to make this piece stream-of-consciousness-y, if that makes any sense. On a side note, this piece was inspired by a spoken word poem whose title sounds eerily similar to this one…hm. (Here it is)

Oh God. Oh Jesus. Not this again. She’s smiling at you. Quick, say something funny!


What? Whatever, that’ll do. What? Oh hell, she’s saying something else now.

Zeus. Thor. Odin. Krishna. What do I do? Apollo. Demeter. Allah. What do I say? Come on, you’re funnier than this.

Was that a laugh? Is that what my laugh sounds like? Muhammad. Hestia. Oh good, she’s still talking. Maybe that means I’ll have time to think of something clever before she…oh crap. Did she stop talking? Now she’s cocking her head to the side. Is she expecting me to say something back? Wait, was I supposed to be listening this entire time? Uh, laugh again? Oh good, it worked. And now she’s saying something else. Okay, just nod like I know what she’s talking about and listen.

Right. Good. Definitely. Of course. Oh Brahman, not again. Okay, now what do I say what do I say what do I do what do I act what do I AAGH. Shiva Ares Juno Freyja WHY AM I THINKING OF GODS RIGHT NOW?

Yeah, see you later. For sure.

This was fun. I should do this again sometime.


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